If you're enjoying our unique blend of news and views, why not share the love?

But if our stories make you roll your eyes more than laugh, maybe send them to someone you're not too fond of. It's a great way to screw up their day. It's like when someone sends me a Fox News article. I lose about 5 minutes of productivity, wondering why they read that crap and why such a publication exists and I realize that there are probably more people just like the person that just sent me the article. Truly a sad thought. Realizing this, I go to the fridge, eat, and get fatter. When I look in the mirror, I get depressed and eat more. I then have to buy new clothes as a result of all this stress eating. Unfortunately, I now have gained so much weight that I don’t even know my size, so I can’t buy stuff online. This is even more depressing because who wants to go to the mall in the blazing summer heat? Hopefully, you are getting the picture. Here is a list of people who might fit into this category:

• People who own a boat but don’t invite you.

• People who invite you on it but make you fill it up with gas.

• People who don’t return Tupperware.

• People who return Tupperware but with a mismatched lid.

• People who ask how your kids are doing but know damn well that there are some issues

• People who have been to Burning Man tell you, “I don’t think you could handle Burning Man.”

  So next time you find an article especially annoying, send it to at least 10 people that you really don’t like. I would include a comment “Can you believe this?”. This makes your intent opaque. Pace yourself. Limit your forwarding to only 10 articles a day for the first week. There are over 80 articles that you can use to annoy enemies. Try forwarding multiple copies of the same article over and over again to the same person. This strategy only works once. Please know it costs us $1 dollar each time you forward one of our articles so if you are really aggressive, you can put us out of business, forcing me to get a job back in corporate restructuring.

  Remember, we’re always here for you—whether you find us utterly delightful or as annoying as spam in your inbox. Either way, sharing is caring!

  Keep reading, and keep sharing. Put your shoulders and face the world with confidence.