Tesla Proposes Child Internship Program at Orinda Cobalt Mine, Stirring Controversy

Source: Draft of Tesla Mining Recruiting Poster

Orinda, CA – In a move that has sparked both interest and controversy, Tesla has requested a waiver from child labor laws to launch an "exciting child internship program" at the potential new cobalt mine site in Orinda's Sand Hill neighborhood. The program, described by Tesla as a way to expose local youth to the world of mining, is slated to start with a pilot at Sleepy Hollow Elementary School due to its proximity to the site and the school's strong academic performance.

Klaus Van Dirk, who heads the proposed program and previously managed a similar initiative in South Africa, emphasized that this is not about child labor but an educational opportunity. "We are talking about a construction after-school program. Participants have opportunities to win prizes based on their production," Van Dirk explained. He noted that such programs were instrumental in fostering a spirit of innovation in young Elon Musk back in South Africa, an inspiration for replicating the model in Orinda.

However, the proposal has raised significant concerns among various community members, particularly with regards to its appropriateness and legality. Critics argue that despite the educational framing, the program may essentially amount to child labor, given the physical nature of mining work and the incentives tied to productivity.

The Orinda Baseball Association has also voiced concerns, highlighting the potential impact on local sports. "Our young players might be tempted to trade baseball gloves for mining tools, drawn by the prospect of winning prizes. This could seriously affect our ability to field teams for afternoon games," stated a representative from the Association.

Community reactions have been mixed. Some parents and educational leaders see it as a unique opportunity for hands-on learning and early exposure to a critical industry, especially given the rising importance of cobalt in green technologies. Others feel it is an inappropriate and potentially exploitative way to involve children in industrial operations.

“Hell, when I was a kid, I had a paper route. I didn’t sit around watching kids play Fortnight on Twitch. I think a few years underground, swinging a pick, would be character-building. I might even buy a Tesla if it kept the kids off the street.” stated Todd Schluter, age 73.

Tesla has yet to respond to the criticisms but has indicated plans to hold community forums to discuss the program in detail. These forums aim to address concerns and outline the educational benefits and safety measures that will be in place to protect participating students.

As the discussion unfolds, the city of Orinda finds itself at the center of a debate that balances educational innovation against the ethical implications of involving children in industrial activities, even under the guise of an internship.

____

As with most things today, any resemblance to the truth is purely accidental.

Previous
Previous

Orinda Miramonte Student-Dead Russia Agent Exchange Stalled Over Missing 'Golden Girls' Set

Next
Next

Major Cobalt Deposit Discovered in Orinda's Sand Hill Neighborhood