Bamboozled Abroad: Orinda's Sister City Delegation Stranded in Turkmenistan
Photo of Serdar Greeting delegation
In a disturbing turn of events, a delegation from Orinda, California, including Representative Mark Andrews, found themselves the victims of an elaborate internet scam during their recent trip to Turkmenistan. The group was initially greeted at Ashgabat Airport by a man claiming to be the "Mayor's" chief of staff and another individual introduced as the Minister of Serdar Tourism and Mining. Despite the dubious appearance of their hosts, the delegation followed them, expecting to initiate a sister city agreement with Serdar. They were then asked to place their luggage in old Russian pickup and then were told to get into an old van of unknown origin.
The ordeal began just 23 kilometers outside of Ashgabat when masked gunmen abruptly stopped their van. The delegation was forced to strip to their underwear and surrender their belongings before being abandoned on a remote desert road. A local with a goat-drawn cart eventually picked up half of the delegation while the others trudged behind on foot to the outskirts of Serdar.
Their plight worsened when they were detained by military police for lacking identification and money. Held in a local prison for the criminally insane, they were issued traditional burlap jumpsuits until a U.S. consulate member intervened, securing their release. The shaken group was then transported via a military C-130 to Dubai and onward to Djibouti for debriefing by the CIA, the State Department, and a member of the U.S. Department of Agriculture.
Back in Orinda, residents are deeply concerned about the delegation's return and the whereabouts of the $10,000 sent as bitcoin to the "mayor" of Serdar as a gesture of good faith. The missing funds have stirred unrest, especially as the city grapples with a bizarre situation involving a herd of landscaping goats. The city's leadership team, currently unreachable on a retreat in Esalen, has been unable to authorize the replacement of a crucial salt lick for the goats, further fueling local frustrations.
The obduction turned out not to be an isolated event. Local law enforcement found a delegation from Delphos, Kansas, had fallen for a similar scam just three weeks prior. They were found in nearly the same condition as the Orinda group but in more conservative underwear. Local authorities have identified the mastermind behind these scams as Vordar the Unscrutible, who preys on American communities seeking international connections. Vordar also runs a popular YouTube channel in Turkmenistan, where he posts videos of his pranks on unsuspecting American sister city delegations. The channel is the second most popular YouTube channel, following Deworming your yack, which provides helpful information on deworming yacks.
This incident has shocked the Orinda community and questioned the prudence of their international outreach strategies. They also deal with the distressing predicament of the rogue goats and missing city funds. The city council plans to hold discussions and community forums to gather public opinion and address any concerns about the sister city proposal before moving forward. As Orinda looks to expand its international ties, this potential partnership with Serdar might pave the way for enriched global engagement and mutual learning.
Footnotes:
1) The advice that Vordar provides is for entertainment only. Please don’t apply his methods to your own yack or yack-like animal.
2) People in Orinda are now asking why we don't have a Minister of Tourism and Mining
3) My great-grandfather immigrated from Scotland to Delphos, Kansas. His relatives paid for the trip on the condition that he send back money, which he never did.
Related Articles:
1) https://www.localtattler.com/news/orinda-considers-sister-city-invitationfrom-serdar-turkmenistan