Last Toss: Europa's Corned Beef Farewell Sparks Mixed Reactions in Orinda

Orinda, CA—In a shift that has left many locals disheartened, Europa, a popular local restaurant known for its lavish corned beef giveaways during the annual Fourth of July parade, has announced it will no longer engage in its traditional "corned beef toss" from its Hoffbräu House float.

Europa has used the parade for years to distribute surplus corned beef from their St. Patrick's Day celebrations. Community members and politicians have participated, launching wrapped corned beef balls into the crowd with lacrosse-stick-like devices. Spectators, equipped with catchers' mitts and buckets, have eagerly collected the meaty treats, often reserved for later consumption or as hearty meals for pets and local wildlife.

In a brief statement, Europa's management mentioned that discontinuing the toss was a decision made to "send the right message," leaving residents puzzled and nostalgic. "What message were they trying to send before?" questioned one parade-goer, reflecting a common sentiment among the crowd.

The decision marks the end of an era where no significant injuries or damages were reported, though there was a minor incident involving contact dermatitis that attendees struggled to definitively link to the corned beef.

The community is now buzzing with speculation about the fate of the leftover corned beef. Suggestions have ranged from disposing of it along Bear Creek Road—a local hotspot for illegal dumping of couches —to concerns about impacting the local wildlife. "You leave a pile of beef like that by the side of the road, and it's going to attract coyotes from as far as Alhambra," commented Carol Richardson, a wildlife expert. There's also concern that traditionally feasting on smaller local pets, coyotes might develop a taste for corned beef and disrupt next year's St. Patrick's Day festivities.

Moreover, the absence of corned beef at the parade has stirred a debate about inclusivity and dietary preferences. "Why can't handfuls of Brussels sprouts or kale be added?" inquired Fern Laslow, a Lafayette resident known for candid opinions on Orinda's community events. She added, "Just to see what those poor people in Orinda do to stay entertained."

Suggestions to replace the corned beef with more universally palatable options like Bundt Holes have gained traction, particularly as concerns grow over the parade's aftermath—turkey vultures descending on leftover corned beef, creating a macabre scene unsuitable for children and the elderly.

"It's not a good look for a city to have a flock of turkey vultures circling over Main Street right after a significant national holiday," remarked an anonymous local while sipping coffee at Pete's, capturing the sentiment of many.

As Orinda prepares for its next Fourth of July celebration without (3) corned beef, the community remains divided but hopeful for a new tradition that could perhaps better reflect its residents' diverse tastes and sensibilities.

Footnotes

1) Originally, the article used the word "sans" versus "without," but "sans" is French for "without," and this article is about America. (2)

2) Maybe it would have been OK to use the word "sans" because General Lafayette was a considerable help in our conflict with the British.(3)

3) Maybe bringing Lafayette would not be advisable because the neighboring Town of Lafayette seems to be better run than Orinda and has better restaurants. We don't need to be reminded of that.

4) Footnotes 2 and 3 are footnotes of another footnote, which begs the question, "why?"(5)

5) This is the 5th footnote. "5" is a prime number (6), and that was the correct number of footnotes for an article as important as this.

6) A prime number is a number that can only be divided by 1 and its self.