NTSB Investigates High Number of Squirrel Fatalities on Orinda Roads

This squirrel was judged by an NTSB scientist to have misjudged the speed of an oncoming vehicle, option #4

Orinda, CA—The National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) has initiated a unique investigation into the alarming number of squirrel deaths on Orinda's roads. A team of observers is conducting a study to understand the root cause of these incidents.

The investigation, which began last month, involved observers stationed along sections of road notorious for high squirrel mortality. The observers' task was to witness and document squirrel deaths, attempting to ascertain the squirrels' mental state at the time of impact. This builds upon a prior 2022 study that found Orinda's driving practices and traffic volumes to be average for its size. NTSB determined that the squirrel mindset had to be the issue, thus triggering the 2024 Orinda Squirrel Watch Study.

To assess the mindset of squirrels prior to being hit by vehicles, the NTSB, in collaboration with the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), developed a rubric allowing observers to categorize incidents into one of six mental states:

  1. Distracted by social media

  2. Engaged in horseplay or shenanigans

  3. Crossing the road to procreate

  4. Misjudged the speed of oncoming vehicle

  5. Lost all hope and seeking an end

  6. Difficult to determine due to lighting or other environmental factors

Preliminary findings revealed that the two most common mental states at the time of death were "engaged in horseplay or shenanigans" and "lost all hope and seeking an end," which were nearly tied. "These results are markedly different from those observed in other communities. While we anticipated distractions by social media to be a leading cause, the data paints a sadder story, suggesting a deep-seated despondency among Orinda's squirrel population," stated Vern Clifor, Director of Veterinary Issues at the NTSB.

In response to the ongoing fatalities, Orinda had previously installed a squirrel crossing zone on Moraga Way. However, given the study's outcomes, the effectiveness of such measures is now being questioned. "If a squirrel is intent on ending its life, it will find a way. More crossing zones may not be the solution," Clifor added.

Community speculation about the cause of this despair points to potential sources of stress in the squirrels' environment, including aggressive behavior from residents with bird feeders and the presence of vocal dogs, particularly Labradoodles. "The Labradoodle was bred to bark at squirrels, falling leaves, and noise that humans can not hear. I think we are dealing with a perfect storm situation. Oh and by the way, Labridoodls bark at storms too," commented Dr. Jerry from Orinda Veterinary.

The NTSB's final report is pending, with recommendations expected to address both the findings and community sentiment. "We're preparing for a listening tour to gauge how receptive the community might be to a report that could reflect poorly on their environmental stewardship," shared an anonymous NTSB official.

As the investigation continues, the Orinda community remains concerned and eager for solutions that will safeguard both their local wildlife and the town's reputation

Related Article:

https://www.localtattler.com/news/orinda-pilots-squirrel-crossing-zone-on-camino-pablo-road-amid-mixed-reactions

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As with most things today, any resemblance to the truth is purely accidental.

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