Lock Your Doors! Orinda Man Puzzled by Late-Night Noise on Golden Bear Lane
Bob Johnson (with teeth in) about to describe the noise that he heard to Orinda Police.
Orinda, CA – For the third consecutive night, Bob Johnson, a resident of Golden Bear Lane, has been disturbed by a mysterious noise emanating from down the street. The noise, first heard by Johnson at 1:07 AM last night, has been a growing concern for him.
Johnson described the noise as "louder than the sound of a cat being run over but quieter than someone beating the side of a dumpster with a hammer." He is unsure if the sound is produced by a machine or a person, possibly even a "human beatbox." The LocalTattler asked other residents of Johnson's neighbors if they knew how loud the noise is using Johnson's "cat-dumpster" scale of loudness. Unfortunately, most felt that the "cat-dumpster" scale was disturbing and asked for the reporter's credentials. Johnson's suspicion is heightened by the fact that his estranged nephew, who moved to Los Angeles to focus on his human beatboxing skills, might be involved. "I never liked that nephew and felt that there were better things to aspire to than just being a human beatbox," Johnson remarked. "What would cause a kid to do such a thing? It must be something in our water?" he stated. (1) Johnson has called the East Bay Municipal Utility Department and left messages about his suspicions about water and its link to his nephew’s beatboxing.
The noise has not been consistent in its timing. Two nights ago, Johnson heard it at 3:37 AM, but on the following night, he forgot to note the exact time. This inconsistency has added to his frustration and confusion. "Whoever or whatever is making this noise is purposely doing it at random times to make it more difficult to trace its source." stated Johnson.
The police have responded to Johnson's calls on both previous occasions. On the first night, they arrived promptly, but on the second night, they were delayed due to an emergency. Last night, after receiving another call from Johnson, the police showed up again but found nothing amiss.
Johnson is taking additional precautions. He informed the LocalTattler, "I'm going to sleep in my clothes and have my glasses and teeth ready in case I hear it again." He explained that it took him too long to put his teeth in during previous calls, which might have caused the delay in identifying the noise source. "My kids tell me you can't understand what I'm saying unless I have my teeth in. In the past, when I've called the police without my teeth, they think I'm a person being attacked and choked to death, and they end up sending the SWAT team. It ends up embarrassing for me and them, I think."
Johnson's neighbors have not reported hearing the noise, which raises his suspicion of a possible conspiracy. He worries that his neighbors might be involved in something unusual, causing the noise, and possibly even the police are in on it. The LocalTattler contacted the Orinda Police by texting them, “Were you in on it? “via text. The LocalTattler received back, “What is “it” and who is this?” Given the hostility shown by the use of two question marks, and that we were not absolutely positive that this was actually the Orinda Police’s number, the LocalTattler decided not to escalate the situation by sending further texts. (4)
Despite the lack of evidence, Johnson remains vigilant and is determined to uncover the source of the disturbance. As he prepares for another sleepless night, the community is left wondering what, if anything, might be behind the strange noises on Golden Bear Lane.
Footnotes
1) This could be a future LocalTattler news story if we have nothing better to report on
2) Why did we write this article when we could have written about how an elderly Orinda Man thinks chemicals in water triggered his Nephew's trip to LA to realize his beatboxing dreams?
3) Seriously, that is much better than " Shocking: Orinda Man Hears Noise." You see that on NextDoor every day.
4) If you do know the right number to text the the Orinda police department about noises, could you send us it? We heard something last night but are not sure where it falls on the “cat-dumpster” scale.